I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
