im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
