hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
