well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
