we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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