Sry I called you an 8
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
