Buhtt sex?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
