guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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