Sponge bath it is.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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