soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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