Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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