sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
