Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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