Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
