hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was like eating out sand paper
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
