your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
