I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
