i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
