you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
