Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
