At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
