I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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