no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my being single is dangerous.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
