I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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