She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The uberlube is also flammable
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
