I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Enjoy the penises
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
