She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
