Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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