I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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