dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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