Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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