I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
