Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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