No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i dont even know how to be here
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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