Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
