I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
