can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
