Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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