We should be called the Road Head Warriors
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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