My hand turned me down
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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