It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Mom said you looked used
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
