It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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