I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
