real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
