your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
