we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
