I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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