Jerry, you need to find god
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
