Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
