Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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